Your Next Medical Appointment Doesn’t Have to Be So Scary
6 Relaxation Tips For Before, During & After Your Exam
When I was ten years old at the orthodontist office, a freak accident with a dental suction straw led my mouth to fill with blood when the hygienist had stepped away for a few moments. It was absolutely terrifying, and, looking back, even though it was probably only a small amount of blood, in my memory it felt like I was bleeding out. Every dentist’s office visit since I’ve relived that memory.
Then three years ago, I found that memory was triggered again, but this time by another medical visit: at the retinal specialist.
In 2017 I was diagnosed with a rare genetic eye disorder called retinitis pigmentosa, or RP. It will eventually rob me of my vision, but that’s a post for another time. For now, let’s just say RP is a part of my life that comes with a lot of emotional stress.
To preserve my usable eyesight, I need shots in my eyeballs every 12 weeks. Without going into a lot of detail, it’s a lot like going to the dentist. I’m lying back in a position of great vulnerability, numbed up, and though there isn’t much true pain, the level of discomfort and stress is significant.
The good news is that after these shots I can see a lot better, which as you can imagine, greatly improves my quality of life. So that helps.
But I spend a lot of time and emotional energy working on
- Not freaking out during the actual appointment and
- Not letting the stress overwhelm me in the days (sometimes weeks) leading up to my appointment.
Because I still need to be effective at work and take care of my family and basically I’m just not the kind of person who can live my life in a state of constant fear and loathing.
Regardless if you’re going in to get your teeth cleaned or having shots in your eyeballs, here are some tips I’ve found helpful to help me manage stress before, during and even after scary medical appointments.
Get a Good Night’s Sleep
Dealing with stress is made a whole lot easier by having gotten plenty of sleep the night before. It’s not always easy to fall asleep the night before these appointments, but it makes a huge difference for me to have at least tried.
Bring Your Bestie
By now, my husband understands his one and only role at these appointments is to be my champion. He’s a rockstar at asking questions; as a professor and a cognitive psychologist, he’s a naturally curious person (which honestly I find embarrassing when he’s grilling the Starbucks barista, but in the doctor’s office, it’s a superpower). Besides emotional support, I rely on him to ask all the questions I’d be embarrassed to ask, or wouldn’t even think to ask in my freaked-out emotional state.
Unfortunately with COVID, he can no longer go into the actual office with me, which is hugely disappointing and difficult for me, so he waits in the car, reading his research papers and checking the news. But FaceTime is an amazing technology, which allows him to still be part of the appointment and me to focus on relaxing as much as possible.
Take a Xanax (or CBD oil) ahead of time.
I used to actually write this on my dentist’s appointment reminder cards (when that used to be a thing) so I would remember to take it ahead of time.
Not everyone needs chemical brain alteration to be able to endure stressful moments — in fact, I often choose just to forego this option since it deadens my thinking which I don’t find pleasant. But it’s helpful knowing it’s there if I need it.
Meditate
Meditation is useful for a lot of things, and surviving stressful doctor appointments with some modicum of grace tops the list (I find Sam Harris’ Waking Up app most helpful). Although I have a regular 20 minute morning mindfulness practice, on appointment days I alter my meditation a bit and focus on soothing, empowering mantras.
You might find it helpful to take 10 minutes right before your appointment, or even while waiting for the doctor, to get quiet, get curious about your emotions and even repeat a few helpful mantras (I like “I am safe, I am loved, I am strong” over and over again).
Bring earbuds and relaxing music to help with concentration — or even just as a much-needed distraction from whatever stressful thing is about to happen.
Schedule Your Appointment for Late In the Day
You may want to do the opposite if you want to just get it over with, but I’ve found that after a stressful doctor’s appointment, I’m pretty useless the rest of the day (this is especially apt when I can’t see very well for several hours). I love my job and want to be effective, so I want to be able to focus on that and then get through my appointment without having to worry about anything for the rest of the day.
Leave Time to Treat Yourself Afterwards
There’s a coffee shop near my eye doctor’s office and I tell myself that after the appointment, we’ll stop in to get a mocha spice latte or some other ridiculous drink that I don’t even really like, just to give me something to look forward to. This, like the Xanax, is often just another emotional crutch that is mostly there just to make me feel better.
I also plan to go home afterward and do something I love — snuggle with my beloved dog, watch my favorite rom-com, or sit under my coziest blankets with candles burning and listen to my favorite music or podcast while I relax. Even after all my prep, I need this self-care to recover from what is perhaps one of the most stressful activities I undertake in my life.
Whether it’s sleep, the support of a trusted loved one, medication, meditation, thoughtful scheduling or planned self-care, you can set yourself up to successfully navigate a difficult medical appointment that might otherwise leave you reeling.
One final thought: sometimes, no matter how much self-care and preparation you do, you still lose your shit.
That’s okay. Don’t fight it, and be prepared to give yourself some self-compassion. I’ve always liked Brene Brown’s advice of writing yourself a permission slip beforehand: “I give myself permission to be sad and scared about this situation, and work through it at my own pace.”
